I have a major design soft-spot for both drinking games and workout games. Something about having a very tactile and responsive side objective always makes the true gameplay feel more meaningful. A month or so ago, I took a break from Destiny 2, which I had been playing almost daily for months, and finally bought the Iceborne expansion for Monster Hunter World. I’ve been playing the series since Freedom Unite on the PSP, and World has been nothing short of a miracle when it comes to quality-of-life changes. It wasn’t too long ago that you had to exit the LAN gathering hub and run across town just to pick up the Cool Drinks you forgot because there was only one equipment chest, and it was in your house. No online matchmaking. No equipment sets. Waiting for 6 months after the game dropped for Kiranico to translate the Japanese-only game guide with the drop rates and monster weaknesses. It was a simpler time, but I’m happy to be in the future with my scoutflies and vitality mantle.
When my friends and I played Destiny, I was doing this workout challenge for the game I found on Reddit (swapping out sit-ups for levitation crunches because they’re much more productive and put less strain on your back). It kept me motivated to play, and did wonders for my back and eye strain problems as it forced me to stand up between games and do quick calisthenics. Also the challenge punished you for playing badly, so needless to say I was only the lowest scoring member in the Crucible a few times before I learned my lesson. Since I’ve moved games, last night I assembled a quick workout challenge for working out in between hunts in Monster Hunter.
Much like the Destiny workout challenge, and any workout really, this will exhaust you. CONTINUALLY DRINK WATER THROUGHOUT. Getting dehydrated is for squares. Also I would recommend having something in your stomach that isn’t junk food, but if McD’s is in your system and you try to workout, you’ll learn hands-on why it’s a bad time.
The workouts that relate to events that happen on the hunt are best done when the hunt is over. Don’t try to squeeze in workouts during and leave your team alone with the monster. I tried making this workout fairly general and to have more of a compound effect over time, but if it’s ever too much know that you a.) don’t have to do them all in one sitting and b.) can halve the workout requirements until you can tolerate the full ones. If you feel physical or sharp pains, stop immediately. Your goal here is to damage the monster, not yourself.
And without further ado, here’s the rules, with a hardcore mode at the bottom for the hunters who already have points in Maximum Might:
Every time you faint
5x Pushups, 5x Levitation Crunches, and 5x Leg Raises
If your team wipes or runs out of time:
Every member does a 30 second Plank
*If you are the majority of faints for a team wipe, your Plank is 1 minute
For every 10 minutes spent on a hunt
Entire team does 10x Forward Lunges (5x for each leg)
Any time you restock or eat at camp
5x Jump Squats
For each rare* material gained
*Each monster has 1 very rare material drop associated with it; plates, gems, mantles, etc. This is what I mean by rare, not low drop rates, since those may apply to multiple items
At the Hub:
Every time you buy from the Argosy
5x Levitation Crunches
Every time you collect from the Botanical Center
5x Leg Raises
Every time you eat
5x Jump Squats
Every time you speak with the Blacksmith
If you are the last person to ready for a quest
– The first hunting workout rule is extended so that every team member performs the workouts whenever any member faints
– If you faint after being Stunned, do 10x Burpees
– Double all sets for Hub-based workouts
– If the team takes longer than 20 minutes to complete a hunt, you do 30 second Plank and 10x jump squats
And there you have it. One last tip I want to give is for the Levitation Crunches, as I think they’re the weirdest of the calisthenics and like many others, I was doing them incorrectly when I first started. First off, you’re not trying to sit up, this isn’t about arching yourself to headbutt your knees. You want to lift your head and upper back straight upwards towards the ceiling (looking directly upwards helps this) and hold it for at least 3 seconds per rep. Your goal is just to lift the back of your shoulder blades off the ground, not your middle back. You should feel a healthy strain in your upper abs right beneath your ribcage as you hold it.
I will be trying this challenge more through the week, likely suffering as I have finally reached the point in the game where the main strategy for defeating monsters is “don’t get hit”. Years of solace and peace were abruptly disturbed by remembering just how unforgiving the Rajang and his furious counterpart are. Something about fighting a giant dragon makes me ready for a big fight, but nothing ever seems to prepare me for fighting a yellow gorilla that can punch through Guard 5 like my shield was made out of aluminum.
I’ve included my small brainstorm of the various game elements and callisthenic workouts so you can mix/match/customize as you wish depending on the workout you’re trying to make. Have fun with this, and I aim to make my next post where I continue my D&D 5E zodiac beast series with the Taurus sign.